Alone

There are many reasons I don’t like to be truly alone. One of them is I don’t like where my headspace goes. I don’t like all the nagging insecurities that swarm my brain in those quiet moments of time. It can make a short period turn into an eternity. The what if I did… Why did they… 

But this isn’t the only reason another reason is being abandoned. Being alone isn’t just a literal situation it can also be when you’re surrounded by people but missing the one you wanted to stay. For me, when I’m hit with this it hits a little closer to my real issues. I want everyone to like me, constantly overachieving, and trying to be seen as worth it.

However, if someone really see’s your value and worth they won’t be so selfish as to abandon you. I may know this logically and I’m sure you have your fair share of issues since the world is twisted. It’s hard to believe the truth at times. It’s easy to give up and give in to the insecurities to not see oneself as valuable. It’s easy to change ourselves via countless measures to measure up to who we believe we should be to be accepted. Still, this type of fulfillment will never absolve us because we live in a broken society with broken people who hurt each other recklessly. Nonetheless there is still one being who sees us regardless of our flaws and loves us.

Even this many of us don’t believe because it’s too simple, or we can’t accept love. 

My birth dad gave up on life because he didn’t see the point of living. He had eyes for no one but himself not my mom, not me, just him. In this he magnified whatever demons he carried and one day ended it. Simply put he believe the lie. The greatest lie ever sold. Which is, the death of hope. He stopped fighting the fight and left my mom and I alone. But that’s not the end of the story because he may have abandoned us but God didn’t. 

The holidays have a strange way of making people feel more alone than ever. But you’re not, God is with you. Yes, this may defy your world view however, God loves you regardless of your possible unbelief. I can’t say I know your life because I don’t. What I will say is we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. People may disappoint us and abandon us but God won’t. 

Soooo… Wherever you are in life, it may not look like there’s hope. It may be bleak but know this; Your Not Alone. Don’t give up because your life is worth it. Stop magnifying the negative and believing the lie. Hold on to the good things even if its as small as a strangers smile.

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